The United States is a land of freedom — freedom of speech (unless you're in public), freedom of the press (unless you're conservative), and the freedom to bear arms (unless you're in New Mexico). Another bedrock here in America is the freedom of religion, where if you don't want to believe in the Ribbono Shel Olam, there are plenty of other options! Here we have collected the most up-to-date list of our country's ten most popular religions:
True crime podcasts: The favored religion of almost every married white woman in the country.
Pickleball: Adherents can be heard practicing their unbelievably loud sacred rituals at all hours of the night.
Vegans: Don't offer them anything most regular people eat. It can really offend their religious sensibilities.
Sports: Followers are called "fans" short for fanatics. But these are the type of fanatics that society accepts. There are hundreds of millions of them worldwide.
Hating Donald Trump: Membership in this faith exploded shortly before 2016 and is currently experiencing a resurgence.
Loving Donald Trump: Membership in this faith exploded shortly before 2016 and is currently experiencing a resurgence.
Wokesim: Has swept through the world with unprecedented rapidity. Ten years ago it didn't exist. Today it has tens of millions of adherents. It is not clear what percentage are male and female as the entire classification is all a social construct with no real meaning anyway.
Tiny Dogs: Worshipped by millions of women and a few effeminate males, tiny dog disciples neglect all human relations in favor of spending all their time, money and social media presence honoring a small canine.
Ukrainism: One of the more trending religions going today, this faith requires new converts to send all their money overseas.
Fauci-ism: Though beginning to dwindle, this faith exploded in 2020, with followers known for keeping their faces permanently covered and injecting themselves with experimental chemicals. Weird!
There you have it — a virtual cornucopia of religions sweeping through the United States. If only there were a faith centered on One, True, Omnipotent Being that could take the place of everything on this list!
WAIT!!! THERE IS!!!!😊😊😊
