The Meaning of Pain

"There is no coming to consciousness without pain."

Carl Jung

"There is nothing heavier than compassion. Not even one's own pain weighs so heavy as the pain one feels for someone, for someone, pain intensified by the imagination and prolonged by a hundred echos."

I know many people in pain in so many different types of pain. Physical pain, emotional pain, all different types of pain. How are we supposed to relate to pain?

Pain teaches us about ourselves, about who is important to us, what is important to us and why things are important to us. Pain forces us to reflect on the frailty of our existence. Pain enables us to open up to other people and thereby bond in a spiritual and holy way. Experiencing pain enhances our sensitivity to the suffering of others.

No sweet friends - if you want a cake walk you are in the wrong world. If you want a painless existence the only way to achieve it is to permanently sedate yourself. This world has one purpose - growth. Intense spiritual growth. Walking on a glorious Sunday afternoon with the most beautiful girl/handsome boy of your dreams in a gorgeous park with not a worry in the world doesn't facilitate growth. That is why most of life does not consist of such experiences.

The word for "challenge" in Hebrew is נסיון. The root is נס which can mean miracle or mast [the tall, vertical part of a ship]. If you want to become a miraculous, elevated person you need נסיונות. We don't ask for them but Hashem knows what each person needs.

After the נסיון is successfully completed we are happy it happened. Cancer patients after going through an indescribable amount of suffering will say they are happy it happened because they are better people for it. Divorced friends have told me how much they learned and grew from the experience [nothing like being dumped by your own wife to open your eyes]. People who suffered the demise of a child will talk about how much they grew from the pain and anguish.

Life is short sweet friends and then we go to a place of no pain so in the meantime it is worth our while to try to grab every נסיון and take a stock of our souls to see what we can gain from the experience. How we can become even a drop more spiritual, more empathetic, deeper, more loving.

Loving. People are starving from lack of love. Parents don't know how to show it to children. Spouses live together while emotionally divorced, teachers convey dry material not realizing that it is not what their students really need. Singles look for that right person whom they can love and who will love them but so many obstacles obstruct their path to emotional fusion. A kalte velt [cold world] we inhabit. The winter freeze is boiling in comparison.

So people search for substitutes. Our high schools are filled with drugs. Filled [are parents aware of this?]. Drinking. Jews historically weren't drinkers but today things have changed. When people are so empty, so tense, they need SOMETHING. Infidelity. People are looking for cheap thrills even though they know in their heart of hearts it is self destructive.

Ally Ehrman writes this post but the world will continue on. Parents will continue instilling kids with the philosophy that success is measured by dollars and cents. People will continue to spend more time reading and talking about Obama and Romney than they will pondering the meaning of their existence. Families will perpetuate fights when the only winners are the lawyers who fund their children's education because a few siblings are ready to kill each other over an inheritance.

So why am I writing if the world will continue along the same path?

Well I just heard another heart breaking story and this is my reaction.

More importantly, maybe there is someone out there who will read this and get a little closer to what is real and pure, who will decide that their purpose in life is to bring only good to the world and resolve never to do anything to hurt another person.

Sweet friends - באהבה רבה I ask that you take my words to heart today on the special day of Yom Kippur katan [erev rosh chodesh] when some people fast and do teshuva.

Try to take one small eensy weensy kabbala upon yourself to make the world a better place.

שובה אלי ואשובה אליכם