This story goes back to the beginning of the twentieth century when most Jews subsisted on an income slightly above the poverty level. While materialistic needs were not a high priority, every once in awhile a person would take some of his hard-earned money and use it for material goods that had a connection to a spiritual principle. A young boy by the name of Yitzchak learned the value of spirituality from his parents.
One year, shortly before Pesach, Yitzchak's father decided to buy his wife a new dress l'kavod Yom Tov, in honor of the approaching festival. His wife toiled throughout the year. She never asked for anything. The least he could do is give her the opportunity to honor the festival in a manner that would also engender personal enjoyment for her. Buying a dress in those days was not as simple a task as entering a store and picking one off the rack. It meant picking out material and paying a number of visits to the seamstress. Finally, the dress was finished. It was an expensive proposition, but well worth it. The whole family waited excitedly for the mother to don her new dress, but she said that she was waiting for Pesach. Disappointed, the children began to count the days until they would see their mother in her new dress.
Yitzchak was a precocious eleven year old. He studied diligently in the yeshivah where he was one of the most outstanding students. His humility matched his scholarship. Thus, he rarely called attention to himself. That year, a few days prior to Pesach, he came home and excitedly shared with his family that he was about to make a siyum on Meseches Bava Kama. His mother was so proud of him, but Yitzchak simply shrugged it off.
The next evening, Yitzchak went home and was greeted by an incredible sight. The table was set with the finest dishes, the candles were lit, and his mother was wearing her new dress! What was happening? he wondered. It was not yet Yom Tov. "Mama! Why are you wearing the new dress? It is not yet Yom Tov!" young Yitzchak blurted out.
His mother smiled at him and said, "Yes, I was saving the dress for Yom Tov, but you told me yesterday that you had completed a Mesechta and were about to make a siyum. This might be a simple feat for you, but, for me, this is the greatest Yom Tov. There is nothing more important to me than my son learning Torah!"
This was a mother's lesson to her young son. Torah study reigned supreme. A siyum was likened to Pesach. Gadlus ba'Torah, achieving greatness in Torah knowledge, was a major accomplishment that overshadowed and outshined everything else. Yitzchak remembered his mother's lesson well throughout his life, as he grew in Torah, as he achieved the pinnacle in Torah knowledge and leadership. As Yitzchak became the venerable Horav Yitzchak Hutner, zl, Rosh HaYeshivah of Mesivta Rabbeinu Chaim Berlin, legendary rebbe and mentor to thousands, his mother's lesson became his legacy. [From Rabbi Yechiel Spero "Touched By A Story"]
People mistakenly believe that Judaism is centered around the shul but it's NOT. The true epicenter of Torah life is in the HOME and the Torah has an interesting euphemism for a woman - "beiso" his home [Yoma 2]. A women's essence is that SHE is the home and the HOME is where it's at. So no - we are not going to give a woman shlishi or glila but raising our children and creating a holy atmosphere is infinitely more important than either of those. When I look at my wife I THANK G-d that such a person is raising my children because I might learn Torah but what the children absorb from their less scholarly parent is infinitely more important.
Furthermore, besides official religious "ceremonies" [for lack of a better word] women can be equal to or better than men. It says in the medrash תנא דבי אליהו that ANY HUMAN BEING depending on their actions can come close to Hashem. The gemara [brachos 17] says that women are promised MORE than men in the world to come.
So if I were a woman I'd be thankful I don't have to spend my life worrying about zmanim and earning a living [according to the Torah a man MUST support his wife notwithstanding the fact that our contemporary frum world has discarded this basic halacha for reasons we won't get into here] and enjoy being a mommy, davening, learning subjects that interest me, doing chesed and focusing on spiritual growth while the men, nebach, have to work all day and only get an hour a day to learn when they are falling asleep over their gemaras.
Rav Kook explains the bracha she-asani kirtzono that a woman is a reflection of the deepest will [רצון] of Hakadosh Baruch Hu. If a girl is educated properly she values who she is - a Princess, a bas yisroel, and an honored member of the holiest nation on earth.
So although I not am not zocheh to be a woman [and I am thankful for that because I quite enjoy being a guy] I appreciate the indispensability of the female population and hope you do the same.
PS - If I offended anyone I apologize. I tried hard not to....
:-)
