As an aside I don't really recommend to my clients [which is perfect because I don't have any clients....] to develop close friendships with other people's wives. We know TOO MANY stories about what how such interactions evolved into something BAAAAAAAD. Your friend's wife is a women, you are a man. Nature dictates that there must be something there. The greatest testimony to this fact is the seven billion people that inhabit our planet. Another testimony is the mechitza in shul. The mechitza actually speaks [if you listen carefully but in some shuls there is so much talking you can't hear] and says "There is sexual tension in this room, that is why I am here. If you take me down it would be much more difficult to daven." This sexual tension is a bracha given to us by Hashem. The word "yetzer" comes from the word "yotzer" - create. Our yetzer brings out our most creative powers. Every one of us is a testimony to our parents' creative powers. If your mother looked like a cow your father [wonderful a person as he may be] would not have married her because there would have been no "yetzer" and hence no "yotzer". That is why we try to look nice on a date. To get the yetzer to eventually become a yotzer.
So we are happy that we posses these creative powers but must be vigilant in keeping them in check. Otherwise they DESTROY us. From the most Divine form of creation to the most depraved and animalistic [spellcheck tells me I got that word wrong but by golly I don't know how else to spell it. If English tells me to swell "know" with a "k" how much sechel can this language have anyway..] form of corruption.
I have completely gotten off track. So back to our show.
לבו גס בה.
So li'myseh a man IS libo gas bah with his next door neighbor. She was in high school and Camp Morasha with him and when they were in Israel for the year they used to hang out sometimes. Ya know, on Emek. Then they would often meet at the Inbal when parents would take out their children's friends. Now what?
We remember the hetter of baala ba'ir. That if a husband is in town the wife is allowed to have yichud. If לבו גס בה - the hetter does not apply and yichud is forbidden.
When one is alone with a woman the way to avoid yichud is to open the front door to the public thoroughfare. This way anyone can walk in at any moment. EVEN if they are buddy-buddy, opening the door is enough.
There is another hetter of nichnas viyotzei, meaning you give the neighbor a key and ask him to pay you a surprise visit from time to time. Even if לבו גס בה this hetter still applies.
אמר רבי חנניא בן עקשיא, רצה הקב"ה וכו' לפיכך הרבה להם וכו' ויאדיר
KADDISH!
