A person who wants to grow as a human being and as a Jew MUST be aware and mindful of the thoughts that go through his mind. Tens of thousands a day pass through our consciousness and it is CRUCIAL to be able to observe them as an outsider and decide which thoughts we want, which we don't, how many times the same thoughts repeat themselves [most of our thoughts are either negative, repetitious or both], what these thoughts tell us about ourselves and about our narrative of our lives. Our minds are both "play-by-play announcers" and "color commentators". First they tell us what is happening and then give our own unique subjective spin on the events around us. Of course, many of our thoughts are distortions of reality, harmful to our well being, stunting our emotional and spiritual growth etc. etc. We MUST-MUST-MUST be aware of them. WE are not our thoughts. We are ourselves and our thoughts are something else which can [and often should] be changed and altered. One of the greatest cognitive errors people make is conflating absolute reality with our perceptions and attitudes.
One thing you will notice when being mindful of your thoughts is that they almost exclusively center around YOURSELF. YOU are hungry, YOU are worried, YOU have a meeting in 20 minutes, YOU have to call your wife, YOU have to daven mincha, YOU haven't counted sefira yet etc. etc. Even those thoughts that involve other people also relate back to you. How can "I" help this person. How much money should "I" donate to this organization. "I" feel really bad for this person. "I" get really nervous or tense when "my" child acts out. We cannot separate from ourselves for barely a second. דוק ותשכח. You will see that this is true.
So think about it - how much are OTHER people thinking about YOU?? Very very little. And only in the context of themselves. That is human nature. A person goes to the doctor. He gets the diagnosis and the doctor goes on to the next patient while the first guy remains ill, completely out of the doctor's consciousness. A person goes to his/her therapist. He gets 45 minutes of attention for $250 dollars. Now during this time the therapist's mind is going to wander to other things because the therapist is a human being and as such, he is the most important person in his life. The patient isn't even close. In the best case scenario he will truly care and try to help during those 45 minutes but after the patient leaves the office - that's it. He is on his own and the therapist is giving his full attention [we hope] to the next patient. At the end of the day, as good as we hope his intentions are - he is running a business. I am not saying that one shouldn't go to therapy. Most people could REALLY use it [including the therapists themselves who go through therapy during their training]. But we have to realize that the only person who really, genuinely, experiences our ups and downs, fear and worries, hopes and aspirations, is us. Nobody else. If we are lucky, REALLY LUCKY, then our spouse feels us like we feel ourselves, but only in a limited capacity. I bless us all with such a spouse. [And of course our mothers but that is a loaded relationship. But then again - so is marriage].
There is one exception to this iron clad rule. One. The One. HASHEM!!! He is thinking of you CONSTANTLY and is COMPLETELY AWARE of every thought and feeling you have every second of your life. He, and only He, knows ALL OF YOUR PAIN. And He loves you more than you could ever love yourself and knows what is best for you far better than you can ever know.
So isn't is WORTHWHILE to have a relationship with Him???
Isn't it extremely soothing to know that there is Someone out there who REALLY KNOWS and [כביכול] REALLY CARES??!!
