Yichud #9: Babysitters And Cleaning Girls

This can be a big problem. We have heard stories about husbands who fell in love with the babysitter and that was the end of the marriage. The babysitter has numerous advantages over the wife: 1] She is younger and our society values youth. 2] She is new. People like new and consider it more exciting. 3] He doesn't really know her and all he sees are her good qualities such as warmth and nurturing but is unaware of her more negative qualities. This is as opposed to his wife whom he sees with all of her inadequacies. 4] A wife can be demanding and needy. A babysitter is all giving. Who is more attractive to a guy??

So a man should not only avoid yichud with a babysitter but also avoid developing any meaningful relationship at all.

Yichud is permitted if there is a shomer present such as a daughter from about the age of five or a son from about the age of six. At this age they will understand when something inappropriate is going on.

One also must be careful about yichud with a cleaning lady, even if he finds her only slightly less attractive than a door knob.

If there is a cleaning girl over, thank Hashem you can afford one and open the front door so that anyone can walk in at any time. Alternatively, give the neighbor a key and ask him to walk in randomly [unless libo gas boh, which birtzos Hashem, we will explain].