Do Not Waste the Precious Years of Youth

Rabbi Frand

As part of Yehudah’s plea to the Egyptian ruler (who he did not yet know was his brother Yosef) Yehudah said, “For how will I be able to go back to my father if the youth is not with me.” [Bereshis 44:34]. To appreciate the thought that I am about to express, it may be necessary to have a bit of an inclination for Chassidishhe Torah. Also, please remember that Chazal say “one does not ask questions on Drush.” This may not be the true interpretation of this pasuk, but the message it delivers is certainly true.

One day, each of us will go up to the Yeshiva on High after we leave this world. The above cited pasuk can be read; “How am I going to go to my Father (in Heaven) when the na’ar is not with me.” — Meaning, if I wasted my youth, the easiest years of my life, on matters of nonsense – how will I be able to answer for myself before the Master of the Universe in that Final Judgement?

If there is one message my students at Ner Yisroel have heard from me over and over again throughout my entire teaching career it is: Do not waste these precious years. They are not repeatable. This is not to say, of course, that life ends at age 22 or 23. However, the care-free life that a typical yeshiva bochur lives today—from the age of say 18 until he gets married—is blissful. Baruch Hashem, most bochrim have parents. Their tuition is paid. Their cell phone bills are paid. Their car insurance is paid. Their health insurance is paid. They typically do not have to worry about earning a living or about chronic illness. These are the carefree years.

“How will I be able to ascend to my Father and the (years of my) youth will not be with me?”

I know that the demographic of the crowd I am speaking to tonight is well past the years of na’arus. But as I always say: The job of raising your children never stops, and the job of raising your grandchildren never stops. If there is one message that we should impart to our children and grandchildren and, IY”H, our great-grandchildren, it is: Do not waste these years. They are not going to repeat themselves!

The Kotzker Rebbe cited a pasuk from Tehillim: “Like the arrow in the hand of the mighty archer, such is youth” [Tehillim 127:4]. The Rebbe taught: When an archer pulls back his bow and is about to shoot his arrow, he still is in control of what is going to happen with that arrow. He can shoot it up, he can shoot it down, he can shoot it right, or he can shoot it left. Once the arrow leaves the bow, it is on its own. He cannot take it back. He cannot guide it. It is not like a ‘smart bomb’ that can be redirected mid-course. The Rebbe said, “So too it is with youth.” When a person is young, he is in control. He does not have illness, he does not have all the worries that come with older age, and that frustrate his ability to accomplish what he wants to accomplish with the talents and strengths the Almighty has granted him.

There is a famous quip – Youth is wasted on the young. When a person reaches a certain stage in life, that youth-like freedom is there no more. I knew an older Jew who was in a retirement home. He used to get up in the morning and his fellow residents would ask him “What hurts today?” A person loses all kinds of powers and capabilities that he one once had when he reaches old age. Ah, for the days of youth – bnei ha’neurim!

This is a message that we need to impart to our children, and even if our children are grown, we need to impart it to their children. “You must not waste the precious years of youth.”