Vayechi - Worry And Trigger Warnings

From an email:

SHALOM SWEETEST FRIENDS!!!!


Three different people asked me this week what happened to the emails. Unfortunately, they were down w/ Covid but are feeling better BARUCH HASHEM!!! They took a little "Moderna" [Rabbi Lamm preferred the term "Centrist"] and everything will be OK!!!! They still can't taste food but which emails can??


This week was a great week as my parents were able to attend the wedding [only hours before they were told with 9 million other people in Israel to STAY HOME!!!] of their granddaughter Mindy, daughter of my brother the great rabbi and Tzadik Rav Dovid. May they attend many many more smachot in good health!!!


GREAT NEWS!!!! I will be appearing this New Year's at Grossingers!!! After years of "sitting and learning" I will make the adjustment to "standing and telling jokes".


EXCIITINGGG!!! Yes, Big Al the stand up comic. Robin Williams - watch out!!! Oh, he died? Baruch Dayan Emes!!!! Jackie Mason [who, like me, is a former Rabbi] watch out. I might not have your funny accent but I can definitely steal your jokes!!


[Trigger alert: Ethnic humor was acceptable in the 80's - when I was young and handsome - but is no longer. So if you are sensitive to these things - skip the jokes].

It is easy to tell the difference between Jews and Gentiles. After the show, all the gentiles are saying 'Have a drink? Want a drink? Let's have a drink!' While all the Jews are saying 'Have you eaten yet? Want a piece of cake? Let's have some cake!'


It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like.


I've got a friend who is half-Jewish and half-Italian. If he can't buy it wholesale, he steals it!

I've got another friend who is half-Hispanic and half-Jewish. He's a janitor, but he owns the building!

I've got another friend who is half-German and half-Polish. He hates Jews but can't remember why!

When most people return from Europe, they tell tales of all the sites they saw, the shopping, the entertainment, etc. Jews, on the other hand, return and say "I had this slice of cake in Austria, let me tell you, I don't know how they make it! It was great!"

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life .... unless I buy something.


They call it football, but the object of the game is to bash the other guy so hard that he's eventually carried off the field on a stretcher. I can't watch football anymore. My psychiatrist said it's better that way. I used to watch a game, see the players in a huddle - and think they were talking about me.

Heard on the radio this morning about a guy who walked into a bank and presented a teller with a note that read "I have a gun. Give me all your money. Bang." The teller gave him the money and he walked out of the bank. He was caught only a short while later. Why? He had written the note on the back of his parole card.

Anyway, all seriousness aside. The pasuk says:

וַיְבָ֨רֲכֵ֜ם בַּיּ֣וֹם הַהוּא֮ לֵאמוֹר בְּךָ֗ יְבָרֵ֤ךְ יִשְׂרָאֵל֙ לֵאמֹ֔ר יְשִֽׂמְךָ֣ אֱלֹהִ֔ים כְּאֶפְרַ֖יִם וְכִמְנַשֶּׁ֑ה וַיָּ֥שֶׂם אֶת־אֶפְרַ֖יִם לִפְנֵ֥י מְנַשֶּֽׁה׃

So he blessed them that day, saying, “By you shall Israel invoke blessings, saying: Hashem make you like Ephraim and Menashe.” Thus he put Ephraim before Menashe.

Explained Rav Simcha Bunim of Parshischa [a little Jewish town minutes away from Teaneck]: A person should serve Hashem with complete clarity of purpose and mission. On the other hand, he/she must remain humble about his/her accomplishments. ביום means day which denotes clarity. ההוא - that, implies something hidden. The bracha is to have clarity, ביום, and at the same time to realize how far one is from Hashem and from fulfilling his or her purpose - ההוא.

Another explanation: Don't worry!!! ויברכם - the bracha is, ביום ההוא - you live TODAY and not tomorrow. We spend so much of our time worrying about a future we have little to no control over. The bracha is to be in THIS moment and THIS day.

Awe-some!!!

Today I had a thought [very rare for me]: NOW is the future. That "future" I spent so much time worrying about is NOW. Now is the future compared to my ENTIRE LIFE until now. And I am here!! Everything is OK!!! Not perfect [in my eyes], not w/o challenges - but certainly manageable. So what good did all that worrying do me??

NONE!!!

So maybe I can get into my thick skull that I should and must absolutely cease and desist from all worrying?? And maybe - you [with perfectly sized skulls] will join me??

ויברכם - ביום ההוא!!!!

SEE YOU AT GROSSINGERS!!!!


HAVE A GREAT SHABBOS AND A כתיבה וחתימה טובה and תכלה שנה וקללותיה תחל שנה וברכותיה!! May this calendar year bring super-super-super-duper bracha to us all!!!


With much love,
Me


A recent shiur from my critically acclaimed "Talmudic Methodology" series.