When I was a child, I was taught many many wonderful things. The list is looooooong: I was taught to say please and thank you, to make a bracha before and after I eat [same idea:-)], to daven, to respect my elders, to look both ways before crossing, to brush my teeth, to chew with my mouth closed etc. etc. etc.
But I was also fed some baloney. First of all, whether I was cognizant of it or not - some of my main educators were the television and movies I watched. That is really bad... And then there were cultural norms that to which I no longer subscribe, like that money is extremely important and not merely as a means to serve Hashem but much more than that. The goal of life it to gets LOTS of it. I haven't been able to completely uproot that poison from my psyche. Workin' on it. The Yerushalmi says that one of the reasons that Beis Hamikdash was destroyed was that they LOVED MONEY!! I didn't make that one up.
And here is another fiction. When I was verbally assaulted, I was told "Sticks and stones can break your bones but names can never harm you". Find me ONE PERSON on the planet who never gets offended by any negative, hurtful or insulting words. One. It is just a fact of life that people do get offended. The Torah recognizes this and therefore strictly forbids causing anyone pain with words. This is called אונאת דברים. Then there is לשון הרע which we have heard so much about. The is also embarrassing someone in public for which the "prize" is that one loses his portion in the world to come.
That being said, when one IS insulted, he has a choice. He can let the pain sit there. Or he can decide that he is not going to let the words get the better of him and he is going to move past it and past his resentment at the person who said those words, thereby not letting himself turn into a victim.
So words can really hurt - מוות וחיים ביד הלשון. But strong people can overcome.
Think about things you were taught as a child and decide now if you agree with those lessons. If you do - great. If not - consciously discard them.
