I once heard a big principle for life from "Baruch" Obama[!!!]. He said that when he complains about the stresses of his job [when he was still Prez], his wife "Michal" reminds him "You signed up for this".
In other words - You wanted, power, money, fame etc. all of the "benefits" of being President, but there is a downside as well. It is a package deal. You can't just have the good, the part you enjoy, without the challenging, difficult parts. The parts you hate.
There is a female politician in Israel who identifies as a Charedi. For reasons known only to her, she joined a left wing, secular party. She is repeatedly slandered in the media from all sides. The Charedim view her as a traitor. The non-Charedim don't like her either for various reasons [she is religious...] and she is an easy target. Among her other talents, she has the looks of a top model/movie star and she doesn't hide it. So she has been accused, among other things, of sleeping with her boss. I recently saw an interview with her where she said that every time she reads and hears what people are saying about her it hurts anew. SO PAINFUL!!! She said that politics is such a dirty, disgusting field to be in. It adversely affects her own mental health and also the stability of her family.
Yet - SHE REMAINS!!
Why?
She obviously gets a lot of benefits. Good salary, pension, connections, meets interesting people, is at the center of attention, feels like she is making a difference etc. etc. But she says that she hates the downside of her job, primarily all of the gossip about her. So she will continue to suffer.
If I were her therapist I would tell her the following: "If you want to be a public figure, look as you do and have a very close intense relationship with people who are not known for their purity of thoughts, speech and actions - you will be the subject of gossip. Many of the men you deal with have a secret desire to make the gossip about you true. Some will undoubtedly even express this wish to you explicitly. Maybe you are a holy, righteous women and will consistently overcome all temptation - even though you know that it will help advance your political career - but that won't stop people from talking.
You have also chosen to forsake the community where you were raised educated and still claim to be part of and advance the political agenda of a party that is strongly opposed to their values. This is going to upset people. They are going to say and write negative things about you [wrong as that may be].
This is NOT a justification. Gossip is a sin - even if said about politicians [provided that they are in the class of people about whom gossip is forbidden, but that is another story]. But that is human nature. People LOOOOOOVE to talk about other people. You are not going to change that.
So make a choice - remain in politics and accept that people are going to slander you from right and left [as evil as that is] but you are willing to undergo the disgrace because you believe in what you are doing and that it is the right thing for you and your family.
Or leave the public sphere and then nobody will talk about you because there will be out of the public eye and will be forgotten very soon. You are trained as a lawyer. Get a cozy lawyer job, sit in an office and peace will reign in your life.
But don't remain in your present position and complain about how horrible it is. YOU SIGNED ON!!! Remember what Michal Obama told Baruch. Being President has a great many benefits but also many, many hazards that are unavoidable. We can NEVER have a situation in life that is ALL honey."
This is a Mussar Haskel for all of us. If you want to be married - there are many benefits but take into account that there are numerous downsides. You can't JUST have the benefits [if you are a husband: great wife, full service at home, fun times, meaning, stability, kids etc. etc] but not the challenging parts [curtailed freedom, it is very, very expensive, having to deal with her personal issues and your common issues etc. etc.].
If you want a job you will get the benefits [a salary, health insurance, interesting projects, relationships etc. etc.] but there will also be a significant downside [as anyone who works knows]. Don't complain because it is a PACKAGE DEAL. Meaning - either you get the whole package or none of it. Take it or leave it. Free country!!
This applies to so many things in life - there is ALWAYS a downside with the upside.
Our Rabbis teach us that since the sin of Adam and Chava, EVERYTHING is a mixture of good and bad. עץ הדעת טוב ורע. We want just טוב without רע but it ain't happenin' in this world.
You want a world of complete unadulterated good? It is coming. במהרה בימינו אמן!!!!
