לרפואת ר' יצחק יונה בן חנה, ר' ברוך בן מרים, חנה גיטל בת נעמי עליזה, יוכבד פייגע בת מיכל יהודית בתיה בתוך שח"י ולעילוי נשמת ר' משה בן הרב אהרן
The one who follows the crowd will usually get no further than the crowd. The one who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no one has been.
Ally Einstein
Shaaaloooooooommmm sweeeetest friendssssss!!!!!!
SOOOOOOOO exciiitttiinggg!! We start again from the BEGINNING!!!
What is so "cool" [if I may be a teenager for a second] about learning Torah is that no matter how many times we learn the same Parshiyos or words of Chazal, there is always new insight to be gleaned!!
From the many, many, many lessons from parshas Bereishis:
Adam eats from the tree. Hashem says "Did you eat from the tree I told you NOT to eat from??"
Adam COULD have said "Yes and I am OOOHHHH SOOO SOOORRRRYYYY!!!!" Or "I totally totally goofed. PLEASE forgive me!!!!"
Instead - he said
"הָֽאִשָּׁה֙ אֲשֶׁ֣ר נָתַ֣תָּה עִמָּדִ֔י הִ֛וא נָֽתְנָה־לִּ֥י מִן־הָעֵ֖ץ וָֽאֹכֵֽל".
"The woman YOU gave me, handed me the fruit and I ate it."
It's not MY fault!!! It is .... Your fault for giving me "that woman". And HER fault for giving me to eat.
AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
I like to say that the words "אני לא בסדר" - I am NOT blameless [meaning that I am at fault - there is no English equivalent of which I am aware] is the same gematria as משיח!!!!
If we would just admit fault and correct OURSELVES - MESSIAH would come [and put to rest the debate the Jewish world has with Crown Heights - not to mention how surprised the other almost 8 billion people on the planet will be].
Also - Hashem did Adam a HUUUUGE FAVOR BY GIVING HIM THIS WOMAN!!! It is NOT GOOD for man to be alone!!! [It is also not good to leave Arab terrorists in prison cells alone.....] Instead of appreciating the gift, Adam found fault in it. [See Rashi, Ramban and others. However see the Ohr Hachaim, Ksav Vi-kabbala and Rav Hirsch who all read the pasuk as favoring Adam]. Since then man has had this terrible tendency to be ungrateful - to G-d and fellow man.
But there is another way to read the pasuk. Rav Leib Chasman - Adam was confessing - וידוי!! He was saying that it WAS his fault that he ate from the tree b/c he followed his wife! Hashem, Adam said, I was WRONG!! I followed my wife and not you!!! I should have done what was right and not followed my wife just because she "put it on my plate".
This reveals to us a basic human quality - our nature is to follow!!!
In a study by French psychologists Serge Moscovici and Marisa Zavalloni, researchers asked participants some questions. First, researchers asked about their opinion of the French president. Second, they asked about their attitude toward Americans. The researchers then asked the participants to discuss each topic as a group.
After a discussion, groups who held a tentative consensus became more extreme in their opinions. For example, participants held slightly favorable attitudes toward the French president. But their attitudes magnified as group members spoke with one another. They held slightly negative attitudes toward Americans. But their attitudes intensified as each member learned others shared their views about their allies abroad. The researchers concluded, “Group consensus seems to induce a change of attitudes in which subjects are likely to adopt more extreme positions." When we see our uncertain opinions reflected back to us, our beliefs strengthen.
Many of us also enjoy being with others who share similar beliefs. In one experiment, researchers invited people to discuss issues including same-gender marriage, affirmative action, and climate change. People in one group came from predominantly liberal Boulder, Colorado. People in another group came from mostly conservative Colorado Springs. The discussions on controversial topics led to increased agreement within the groups. Beliefs we hold are strengthened when we are around others who hold similar views.
There is a heuristic [a mental shortcut that allows people to solve problems and make judgments quickly and efficiently] most of us use to determine what to do, think, say, and buy: the principle of social proof. To learn what is correct, we look at what other people are doing. In his bestselling book Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion, psychologist Robert Cialdini writes, “Whether the question is what to do with an empty popcorn box in a movie theater, how fast to drive on a certain stretch of highway, or how to eat the chicken at a dinner party, the actions of those around us will be important in defining the answer.” Social proof is a shortcut to decide how to act.
Cialdini has used the principle of social proof to prevent environmental theft. Consider the case of Arizona’s Petrified Forest National Park. Visitors would arrive at the park and learn of past thievery from prominent signs: “Your heritage is being vandalized every day by theft losses of petrified wood of 14 tons a year, mostly a small piece at a time.”
In one experiment, Cialdini removed the sign from a specific path in the park to measure any differences it might make. The path with no sign had one-third less theft than the path with the sign. Visitors interpreted the sign’s message as permission. Put differently, visitors thought it was “normal” to take small pieces of wood, because so much was stolen every year.
Researchers have also used the principle of social proof to help people overcome their fears. In one study, Albert Bandura and his colleagues worked with a group of young children frightened of dogs. The children watched a four-year-old boy happily play with a dog for 20 minutes a day for four days. After the four day period, 67 percent of the children who watched the boy play with the dog were willing to enter a playpen with a dog. When the researchers conducted a follow-up study one month later, they found the same children were willing to play with a dog. Watching a little boy have fun with a dog reduced fear in children. They used the behavior of a boy playing with a dog as a model to change their own behavior.
Clearly, others affect our behavior. One reason for this is that we live in a complex world. We use the decisions of others as a heuristic, or mental shortcut, to navigate our lives. English philosopher and mathematician Alfred North Whitehead once said, “Civilization advances by extending the number of operations we can perform without thinking about them."
In his book Influence, Cialdini uses the example of advertisers informing us that a product is the “fastest-growing” or “best-selling.” Advertisers don’t have to persuade us that a product is good, they only need to say others think so.
Cialdini notes that consumers often use a simple heuristic: Popular is good. Following the crowd allows us to function in a complicated environment. Most of us do not have time to increase our knowledge of all merchandise and research every advertised item to measure its usefulness.
Instead, we rely on signals like popularity. If everyone else is buying something, the reasoning goes, there is a good chance the item is worth our attention. [From Psychology Today]
The takeways:
A] Be around GOOD people. They will make you better!!!!
B] Be careful about doing something or thinking a certain way b/c "everybody" is doing or thinking that.
There is a story about the Chiddushei HaRim: There was a certain fellow that everybody used to call "Roiter" ["Gingi" in modern hebrew. "Red" in English, as per the famous GM of the Celtics who was a "Red" with the last name of Gedolim!!!]. The Gemara says that one shouldn't use derogatory nicknames. So the Chiddushei HaRim objected. One person who used the nickname said "But gantz Varsha [all of Warsaw] calls him Roiter!!!"
The Chiddushei HaRim sharply responded "Iz da platz in Gehenom far gantz Varsha" [There is room in Gehenom for all of Warsaw!!!].
Just b/c "everybody" does something doesn't make it right!! There is "herd immunity" for viruses - not for wrongful behavior!!!
Hashem gave us our VERY OWN brains - to use efficiently!!! It is the GREAT ones who are able to buck popular behavior and opinion and do the RIGHT THING [even if it costs them a lot of "bucks"!!!]
Avraham Avinu is called Avraham Ha-Ivri b/c he was on one side [מעבר אחד] and the rest of the world on the other side.
And he is OUR grandfather!!!!!!
May we all have an INCREDIBLE Shabbos filled with EXCITEMENT, FRESHNESS and resolve to TRY OUR BEST to always do what is right, regardless of what others are doing!!!
Bi-ahava rabba
,Me
