There is much talk in the news about the countless sexual harassment cases that are coming to light. Instead - there should be talk about how to fix the problem.
Here it goes: The problem is the entire culture. Everywhere one looks there are images of women portrayed as sex objects. This is compounded by the fact that men NATURALLY view women that way. Until one gets to know a woman, all he knows about her is what she looks like and this triggers the male carnal desire. Afterward, when he sees and experiences that she is a living, breathing, thinking and feeling human being, there is a chance that his perspective will be altered.
One goes down into the subway - BIG pictures of women in partial states of undress, advertising the latest movie. He opens the newspaper - pictures of attractive women advertising various products or pictures of attractive women who are in the news and are dressed in an alluring way. He turns on the television and the actresses he sees are portrayed as sex objects. He watches the news and he sees women who were chosen only for their good looks [and ability to read English]. Old, unattractive women don't get jobs as television newscasters [maybe they do radio - I wouldn't know...]. The plots of movies revolve around sex. He wants to go watch some sports? On the sideline are groups of skimpily dressed young women whose job it is to attract the men [nobody needs them to "lead the cheers". People can cheer without their help].
It is ubiquitous. The entire culture is built around objectifying women. Facebook started when Zuckerberg was in Harvard and started posting pictures of young women, asking who is pretty and who is not [he didn't use the word "pretty"]. It spread to other college campuses and became the rage.
So what is the solution? To change the entire culture and to cease focusing on sex and women's physical attractiveness. This won't happen because sex sells.
So as Jews our only moral option is to distance ourselves as much as possible from this corrupt society. I see no other option. Of course we must go to work and one can't completely avoid the world. But as much as possible.
Our other strategy should be to enhance the marital bond and improving the relationships between man and wife. It is rare to find a happy couple who is sexually frustrated. What happens in the bedroom carries over to other areas of life.
So kallahs [and beyond] have to be taught how important it is to "make their husbands happy", both in the bedroom and out. The husbands also have to learn to be affectionate not only in a sexual way and how to please their wives in a myriad of ways. This way - all of the movie stars they see on a daily basis will be far less interesting because they are involved in such a fulfilling union with their own spouse.
As an interesting and sad aside: There was an article in the paper about single women "rabbis". The claim is that there is not ONE who hasn't experienced sexual harassment. When men go to "temple", they are "checking out" the "rabbi", and if she is attractive then she will have vulgar sexually charged comments made to her. Sometimes they are also touched in inappropriate ways. There of course is no way to gauge how many men are looking at her in sexual ways. Here is my guess - all of them [depending on her level of attractiveness]. I would venture that she is often hired on the basis of her good looks in the first place.
For us this means that we can strengthen our belief in the value of the mechitza and make sure our mechitzas block off the women from male view. A man being in a shul is not going to stop him from thinking about things he shouldn't be thinking about. THAT is why we have a mechitza.
So we should enforce external fences [literal and figurative] and also work on ourselves s individuals and communities to be careful in the area of shmiras einayim. No matter how a woman is dressed, there is never any excuse to look at her inappropriately and certainly not to speak to or about her in such a way. In addition, like I wrote, we have to strengthen the marital bonds we have.
One more point: Tzniyus. Women think that as long as their hair, elbows and knees are covered that they are dressed modestly. This is a mistake. When a woman wears the latest "knock your eyes out" outfit, puts on a lot of jewellery and makeup and her three thousand dollar sheitel and spends a great deal of time before she leaves the house beautifying herself, men are going to look at her. This is bad for her, bad for her husband and bad for the whole world. Men aren't particularly interested in a women's elbows. But when she is wearing tight suggestive clothing, she becomes more interesting. So officially covering certain parts is not sufficient. Tzniyus is the entire look. Some women are enraged by this - men are going to tell ME how to dress?!! NEVER.
This militancy is not beneficial [and sadly - they pay the price]. We don't want to control women. We want to create a society where women are viewed for who they REALLY are - souls. Holy, G-dly souls. The emphasis on externals distracts both women and men from this reality.
Tzniyus is beautiful. It reminds us that what is hidden is what matters. We cover up the body so that the focus should be on the soul.
והיה מחניך קדוש!!!!
