I went to my favorite cafe today to write poetry. I was doing well until a girl at the next table started filming "content." She spent ten minutes recording the same line: “I’ve opted for the almond croissant and the pain au chocolat... let’s find out!”
By her seventh attempt at "rehearsed spontaneity," my patience evaporated. If she was going to ruin my poem, I was going to ruin her video. I pulled out my phone and shouted at my camera: “I’ve opted to deploy a subtle half-rhyme in the next line to elevate the stanza… LET’S FIND OUT!”
She looked at me with pure incredulity. I did it again, louder. She asked me to be quiet; I shouted the line a third time. She tried to record over me, but I was committed. I bellowed about my half-rhyme until the manager marched over and kicked us both out. Apparently, we were both in violation of the cafe's "no influencers" policy. The indignity of being grouped in with the croissant-filmer is something my literary ego may never recover from.
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