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WASHINGTON, D.C. - After getting ready for another long day of work at the White House on Monday morning and putting it off "as long as she possibly could," a terrified, trembling Karoline Leavitt prepared herself to check President Donald Trump's Truth Social feed for the first time of the day, sources confirmed.
"What sheer madness am I going to have to defend next?" the Press Secretary wondered aloud while clenching her phone and doing some controlled breathing exercises as she imagined her next press briefing.
"I can only imagine what it's going to be today."
"Lord in Heaven, please protect me," she prayed before unlocking her phone and opening the app.
At publishing time, Leavitt had her eyes closed and was rubbing her temples while exhaling loudly, sources confirmed. She promptly swallowed a valium after which she looked more calm.
