..... I am reminded of a powerful lesson I learned years ago when I was haunted by a similar question. As a communal rav of a large shul, I have dealt with inexplicable heartbreaking traumas over the years. Each circumstance is very different, each with its own story, background, and aftermath.
Following one such tragedy, I was haunted, couldn’t sleep and was deeply disturbed. I spoke to a therapist and explained that I had spent my life studying, analyzing, and trying to make sense of Torah, people, and events. I generally felt a decent grasp on many things but couldn’t understand this. I was obsessed with making sense of it.
The therapist, a good friend, told me to not only stop trying to make sense of it, but to be grateful I couldn’t understand it. I will never forget what he said: “If you could understand it, if you could relate to it or make sense of it, you would be capable of it. Be grateful you are healthy and well adjusted. Not being able to understand it should comfort you, not agitate you.”
R' E.G.
