Far Rockaway, NY — Sources close to Yanky Lefkowitz report that the father of nine just woke up in a cold sweat from a horrifying nightmare where he only got his family to JFK two hours before their flight to Orlando was scheduled to depart.
In his spine-chilling dream, Lefkowitz allegedly first failed by not completely tetris-ing all fourteen suitcases and the double-stroller into the Toyota Sienna the night before the trip. He then saw himself floundering, trying to get the kids loaded while searching for a missing passport, only to arrive at the JetBlue terminal a measly two hours before the flight's departure.
"It's my greatest fear," Lefkowitz admitted, shuddering as he adjusted his yarmulke. "I normally arrive at the airport at least six hours in advance of every Pesach flight, just to be safe. You have to account for the traffic on the Van Wyck, the line for the oversized luggage—because we’re bringing our own matzos, food and kitchen appliances—and the time it takes to find a quiet corner for Shacharis. But in the dream, we were just getting out of the car when I looked at my watch and saw we had only two hours to check the bags, get through TSA, and ensure every child had four snacks. A note of terror pulsated through my heart. I saw the whole Seder in Orlando falling apart! Oy, the horror! Oy, the pachad! MAMESH!!! Like the 11th makkah."
Yanky’s wife, Faigy, said this sort of nightmare is a regular occurrence for her husband during the month of Nissan.
"Honestly, he’s just a bit stressed about the logistics," she commented while labeling boxes of non-perishables. "The trip is still three weeks away and he’s already checking the Waze patterns for 4:00 AM on a Sunday. He’s on a hair-trigger right now; if I even mention the word 'Pre-Check,' he starts hyperventilating."
At publishing time, Lefkowitz had woken up from another nightmare in which he had successfully gotten the family through security with four hours to spare, only to realize that they were at Terminal 5 and were supposed to be a Terminal 2.
