REUTERS - Mayor-elect has appointed Curtis Sliwa as his special liason to the NY subway system. Sliwa's job will be to go from train to train handing out beautiful Persian rugs to all Muslim travelers who would like to pray.
Mamdani explained - "After his tremendous help Curtis gave me in ensuring the I win the elections, I felt that it would be a breach of good faith and gratitude not to give him a central job in my administration. Handing out free rugs to Muslim worshippers will bring glory to Allah and for a Catholic like Curtis - it's about time. He is a man who patrolled the subways for years protecting people from criminals. But under my watch that won't be necessary. We are trying to empty the jails - not fill them up. We would like to defund the police department as much as possible so we have extra money to open government run supermarkets. Less cops, less people in jail, more prayer and more food. Aren't I awesome??!!"
According to inside sources, Andrew Cuomo is furious that he too was not offered a job after his candidacy also helped catapult Mamdani into power.
Free rugs. Free subway. Free prisoners. Free education. Free healthcare. And most importantly - Free Palestine.
