BOSTON MASS. — Local Orthodox Rabbi David Bromberg has installed a "Heresy Gong" in the shul for whenever the associate rabbi, a graduate of Chovevei Torah, is up to speak. [He has the shul's Gentile janitor, Jose, smash the gong on Shabbos when he may not do it himself].
Any time associate rabbi Jonathan Farb proclaims something theologically unsound from the pulpit, Rabbi Bromberg will smash the gong to alert congregants to the heresy.
"Uh-oh, that's nestling up awful close to Spinoza! Goooooong," called Bromberg, smashing the cymbal. "Whoa, whoa, did I catch a Martin Buber quote in there? Gooooooong. Aw man, this thing is awesome. I should have installed this bad boy years ago."
According to sources in the shul, Rabbi Bromberg has announced that all shul meetings will now be held in the shul's sanctuary in order to make good use of the gong.
"It's only been a week, and the gong is getting out of hand," said Farb. "I said something about the pekelach we give kids having no redeeming value, and Rabbi Bromberg said, 'Oh no, sounds like someone thinks all material goods are inherently evil. A Gemara says that a Nazir is sinful for forbidding himself to enjoy wine. Kfirah! Gooooooong.' Someone has to stop this."
At publishing time, Farb was looking for a more tolerant, open orthodox, congregation, where he could speak his mind without fear.
