An alternative version of the חטא העגל which presumably might be espoused by the excessively tolerant among us. It is not Moshe coming down with the luchos but a progressive Orthodox Rabbi, whom we will call Rabbi O. [because he stresses that he is Orthodox] who preaches unity, tolerance and love for all Jews and all of their "customs".
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Rabbi O. descends from Har Sinai with the luchos. As he approached the camp, a sight both shocking and bewildering met his eyes: the people were dancing around a golden calf, clearly having a grand old time.
“Oi vey!” Rabbi O. exclaimed, adjusting his glasses. “What is this?” But instead of the righteous anger one might expect, he paused, stroked his goatee, and thought, “Maybe I should take a different approach.”
He cleared his throat, gathering the attention of the celebrants. “Listen up, my beloved people! I see you’re enjoying your sacred space with the calf. And who am I to interrupt your prayers? I mean, we all have our preferences, right? You mean well.”
The crowd cheered, raising their hands in delight.
“Now, I get it. You want to connect with the Divine in your own way, and that’s beautiful!” Rabbi O. continued, channeling his inner peace-loving hippie. “So how about this? We’ll have the main minyan over here, and you can keep your golden calf over there. Achdus!!! So all those who want to pray with men and women separated to the true One G-d, to the right. Those who prefer the egalitarian service to the calf, to the left.”
A few of the faithful who declined to join in the celebration, were confused. “But, Rabbi O., isn’t this idol worship?”
“Eh,” he waved his hand dismissively. “Everyone’s got their thing. Some like a good brisket, others like a golden calf. Who are we to judge? We can all coexist in harmony. I say that as an Orthodox rabbi!! Let’s just agree to disagree—with peace and love.”
The crowd erupted into applause. “Achdus! Achdus!” they chanted, forgetting the fact their neighbors were, you know, literally worshiping a piece of jewelry.
Rabbi O, turned to the faithful. “Let’s not lose sight of community, folks! If we can’t be united in our differences, what’s the point? Paroh enslaved us ALL! He didn't differentiate between idol worshipers and ol' fashioned monotheists. We shouldn't either!"
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We know what REALLY happened at the חטא העגל. Of course I am not saying ח"ו there should be any type of physical or even verbal violence against deviant Jews. For that you need a mandate from Moshe Rabbeinu or another Navi. But we should also do everything in our power not to let people desecrate Halacha and Torah.
