Thursday, January 12, 2012

Yichud #5

The definition of yichud is a man and a woman secluded in a locked room or in a place that nobody will enter and nobody is able to see inside.

What about yichud in a car?

The are two basic categories of people. One category says "I choose NOT to control my urges. I choose to allow my urges to control me. If he/she is attractive - then I will do what comes naturally." This blog is not for such people. I pity them. If a person is accustomed to not controlling his passions and desires then even after he is married and his wife stops being exciting for him, he will graze in foreign pastures. Then he will get caught. Then she will serve him with papers. Then he will lose his house, much of him money, the love and respect of his children and maybe most importantly, he will lose his self respect. He will also be fat because he will eat whatever tastes good. He will also steal, get caught and sit. Not in Kollel but in jail. He can't control himself so when he sees something he wants he needs to get it. The description I make is not fantasy but daily occurrences in our Orthodox world.

A second category says "I AM IN CONTROL OF MY DESIRES". Such people are heroes. We all know the fire of passion and how hard it is to display self-control. But even such people slip because they are HUMAN.

But they feel yichy afterwards. So of course the antidote is to always be in well populated areas. If a boy and girl are in a car together on a dark country road in Hicktown, New York and nobody is in sight or will be in sight in all likelihood this is called yichud and in all likelihood that will be the lesser of the sins they commit.

Some say - What are we? Animals? My answer is an unequivocal YESSSS! I am. Really. A nice guy [at least I think so:-)] who likes to learn but with a raging tiger within. I recommend that you learn the Sefer Hatanya that gives a cosmological view of the soul. We are all composed of an animal soul and G-dly soul and we cannot forget that.

There are many, many cases of really frum "flip outs" [may I be zocheh to flip out as well] who despite their good intentions stumbled on a date. The ONLY way to ensure that a person won't is to always remain in the public eye. Even our animal can be caged if we are walking with our beloved on 186th and Amsterdam.

Anyone who claims that they are beyond any level of suspicion because they are 100 percent completely in control is either completely unaware of themselves, lying or overly medicated:-).


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BLESSINGS!