COLUMBIA, SC — Nikki Haley has released her official presidential campaign slogan, "I am a woman."
"Inspiring," said local woman Alice Reasons. "I think Nikki really hit on what sets her apart from the other candidates."
According to campaign sources, Ms. Haley plans to build her messaging going forward around the reality that she is, in fact, a woman. "I don't know if anyone has noticed this yet - but I'm female," said Ms. Haley at a speech in Iowa. "It's true, folks. I have two X chromosomes and everything. I am someone who can and has given birth to children. I…am a woman!"
When asked how exactly her being a woman made her the best candidate to be President, Ms. Haley reminded the audience that she is a woman. "This must be the slow class," said Ms. Haley. "Let me explain again. I am an adult human female. I do not have a Y chromosome, and I call a man whenever I need a tire changed or some construction work done in my house. I, Nikki Haley, am a woman."
Then she expanded, displaying broad knowledge of English political history. "Margret Thatcher said 'If you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman.' And like I said - I am a woman!!! Would Margo lie?? That means I can get things done. I am the ONLY woman running for President making me by FAAAAR the most qualified candidate. Look at all of the male candidates. None of them is DOING anything as President. They are just talking, talking, talking. Blah, blah, blah. I am a doer. The Talmud says that 10 measures of speech came down to the world. Nine were taken by Republican candidates for President. The tenth - by the democrats who are so confused they barely even have anything to say. But I am a doer."
Many women organizations immediately endorsed Ms. Haley upon hearing of her new campaign slogan.
