Thursday, January 29, 2026

Trump Tweeting The Makkos In Real Time

 B'chasdei Hashem, over the past almost 20 years, Beis Mevakesh Lev has produced over 13,300 audio shiurim and over 31,000 written posts, unmatched by any one-person website - all completely free of charge. There are no paywalls or anything else. Now we are turning to you for help so we can continue - any amount will help. Even 99 cents! Thank you to my sweetest and most beloved friends!!!:-)!!

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As the Nile turned to blood and frogs began to fall from the sky, Donald Trump didn’t reach for a staff—il reached for his phone.

馃摫 @realDonaldTrump • Live Thread

2:04 PM: Just saw the Nile. It’s Red. Total Disaster. The fake news media is calling it "Blood," but I think it’s just a very poorly managed Algae Bloom. Very low IQ water management by Pharaoh. #DrainTheNile

2:18 PM: Frogs everywhere. Millions of them. They’re jumping into the Palace, jumping into the beds. Nasty little creatures. They aren't even the good kind of frogs. They're losers! I’ve seen better frogs at Mar-a-Lago, frankly. #FrogGate

3:45 PM: Lice? No, it's just "Alternative Dandruff." The Egyptians are scratching themselves like crazy. Very weak. If they used my "Gold-Flake Conditioner," they’d be fine. Believe me! I know how to prevent lice. Biden had loads of it and that helped me beat him. #ScratchyPharaoh

馃惇 The "Pestilence" Policy Update

5:30 PM: All the cattle are dying. Sad! I told Pharaoh he should have diversified into real estate. You can’t eat a building, but a building doesn't get the flu. The Egyptian economy is tanking. I’m looking at buying the Pyramids for pennies on the dollar. #GizaCondos

8:12 PM: Massive Hail storm. Biggest hail anyone has ever seen. The balls of ice are huge—like golf balls, but without the dimples. I’m out here on the balcony, total strength, not even wearing a coat. The Egyptians are hiding under their tables. #ColdFront

10:44 PM: Locusts just arrived. They’re eating everything. They’re like the Radical Left—they just want to take, take, take. They’re eating the wheat, they’re eating the barley. I’m going to build a net. A big, beautiful, translucent net. And I’m going to make the Locusts pay for it! #BugWall

馃寫 The Darkness Review

"People are saying it's been dark for three days. I don't see it. I have the best lights. My room is glowing. If it’s dark in your house, it’s probably because you didn't pay your electric bill. Typical Egyptian laziness. Moses is looking very bright right now, literally. He’s got a glow."

馃弳 The Final Result

1:15 AM: Pharaoh finally let them go. He’s a quitter. I don't like quitters. If he would have listened to me he would have learned how to make Egypt great again. Moses is leading the people into the desert. No hotels, no buffets, just crackers. Very "Rustic." I wish them luck, but they’re going to miss the Nile. It was a great river, before it became a smoothie. #ExodusBigly