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The meeting took place in the White House kitchen at 2:00 AM, mostly because Ben Franklin’s ghost was fascinated by the "indoor lightning boxes" and Trump was looking for a late-night taco bowl.
Franklin, holding a spectral bifocal to the glass door, was convinced there was a tiny, trapped sun inside the appliance.
The "Science" Lesson
"Benny, look at me. Put the kite down. It’s over. You did the key, you did the string—very low energy," Trump said, hitting the 'Popcorn' button with the flourish of a man diffusing a bomb. "This is the 'Mega-Wave.' It’s like your lightning, but we’ve domesticated it. We put it in a box, we told it to behave, and now it makes cheese melt in fifteen seconds. It’s a miracle. A total miracle."
The Technical Breakdown:
The Physics: "People ask me, 'How does it work?' and I tell them: Molecules. Very tiny, very fast molecules. They’re dancing, Ben. They’re doing a tremendous dance. They get excited, they get hot—sort of like my rallies, but with more radiation."
The Speed: "You used to wait three hours for a turkey? Sad. I can take a frozen block of 'America First' beef and turn it into lava before you can finish your first sentence about 'Early to bed, early to rise.' By the way, that’s a terrible slogan. Nobody likes it. People want to stay up and watch the polls."
The "Metal" Incident
The vibe shifted when Franklin tried to put a silver spoon inside to see if it would "conduct the ethereal fire."
Trump: "No! No metal, Ben! You’ll blow up the West Wing! Metal is for the outside of the building, with my name on it in big letters. Inside the box, metal is a disaster. It’s like a 'Never-Trumper'—it creates sparks, it makes a lot of noise, and eventually, the whole thing smells like burnt plastic."
As the microwave let out its final, shrill beep, Trump pulled out a steaming, slightly soggy pizza bagel and held it up like a trophy."See that, Ben? No wood, no coal, no waiting for a storm. Just a button. I’m the most 'electric' president in history. Even more than you, and you literally got hit by a bolt of it. You’re the 'Old Electricity.' I’m the 'Streaming Electricity.' It’s a different vibe."Franklin reportedly stared at the pizza bagel, noted that the middle was still frozen solid despite the edges being the temperature of the sun's surface, and muttered something about "a Republic, if you can keep it—and if you don't burn it down for a snack."
