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IRVINE, CA — What could have been a severe relationship dust-up was narrowly averted today, as a local husband made up for forgetting Valentine's Day by giving his wife a lavish Presidents' Day gift.
Though his wife, Lily, was understandably upset by the lack of any gift or thoughtful card over the holiday weekend, Eric Dorff made a great save by starting off the couple's Monday morning presenting her with a bronze bust of President Richard M. Nixon.
"Just a little something for you on this special occasion," Dorff told his wife as he handed her the bust. "That's not just any president, either, sweetheart. That's Richard Milhous Nixon. A giant among men who was framed for being such an amazing leader. Presidents' Day was created to honor men like him. He was a man who loved his country. And he's the perfect symbol of my love for you."
Lily was surprisingly unenthused by the gesture. "I don't know what this is supposed to be for," she said. "He spent all of Saturday out in the garage changing the brakes on his truck. No Valentine's Day card, no dinner, no flowers, no nothing. Then, today, he hands me this… statue thing. And why Nixon?"
At publishing time, Forbes had reportedly revealed to his wife that, in addition to the bust, he had prepared another special Presidents' Day treat, as he had made arrangements to take her out for a nice, romantic dinner tonight at President Bill Clinton's favorite restaurant, the "Flying Pig".
