לע"נ ר' שמואל פנחס בן ר' יעקב צבי
The world is in a tremendous state of sexual depravity. It is beyond words. It is not even considered a virtue in most cultures to remain chaste until marriage. In the western world it is absolutely normative and even recommended to live together before marriage. College campuses are places of education by day and brothels by night. Except for the fact that the poor young ladies who work in these brothels do it for free [in the hope of receiving genuine love in return which never happens. Wonder of wonder how religious, Orthodox Jewish parents send their daughters (and sons) to these campuses. Are they that naïve to think that their child won't do anything but study and eat "Shabbat dinners" at the Chabad house? We have written about this extensively in he past. And yes, Rav Solovetichik studied in a secular college. I would allow my son to study in the University of Berlin a hundred years ago if he already knew the Rambam by heart and was writing chiddushei torah every week on the deepest and most complex sugyos in Shas on the level of any great Rosh Yeshiva. Of course, I would still prefer he not go but he would be OK]. Movies, television, Internet, social media etc. etc. are all flooded with graphic sexual images.
As Jews, we are aware that these phenomena are wrong, impure and bring much evil into the world. Even those who are not religious Jews but study the data understand how much damage our culture is doing to the delicate soul and psyches of the human being. Our society has traded happiness for pleasure, two very distinct and often contradictory concepts. It seeks the transitory over the permanent, the fleeting over the constant. It brings much sadness and even debilitating depression upon those immersed in the culture. One need not read mussar sefarim in order to know this - just read any of the stuff out there that describes what is gong on and the debilitating damage it causes
The way we fix our bris is through קידוש הרצון והארתו הברורה - Sanctifying the desire and bringing it to a place of light and clarity. A place where we understand the purpose of desire - to serve Hashem, populate His world and establish a home filled with passion and deep intimacy with one beloved person.
Marriage is called Kiddushin because it is קדוש. The one act that only married people can perform and is what creates the marital bond in the first place and then enhances and solidifies it is sexual relations. We must understood the Divine purpose of our often intense desire for this act.
One we are able to navigate our desires to this place of sanctity, the impure side is rendered almost nullified. But as long as we succumb to our animal instincts and view it from a secular perspective and don't guard our eyes, thoughts, speech and feelings - we will live in a world of impurity and dissatisfaction.
Once we sanctify ourselves, all of our middos can be taken to a new level and we will become transformed!:-)
עיקר תיקון פגם הברית הוא קידוש הרצון והארתו הברורה, עד שהרצון
היותר חזק מצד הטבע הגופני, שיש לו שורש בקדושה חזק מאד מפני הופעת החיים שבו,
שהוא הרצון של נטיית המין, אור הקדושה שופע בו כל כך עד שהצד הקדוש שבו הוא הרודה
בחיים וממשיך את פעולתו והופעתו. והצד של החול, וקל וחומר של הטומאה שבו, הוא בטל
לגמרי לצד הקודש, ואז באמת לא יקרב נגע באהלו, ונעשה צדיק משומר מכל מוקש,
וכשהרצון עולה במדרגה עליונה של קודש כזאת, אז הוא מתברר גם מכל מדות רעות ומכל
מעשים רעים שבעולם, אפילו מהדברים היותר קלים שהאדם דש אותם בעקביו.
